The depths of the breath

7 May

The Depths of the Breath: Breath as a Portal to Revolutionising Relationships

This research paper is an exploration of the ways breathwork can reshape our relationships. It touches on safety and trauma, embodiment and somatic practices, voice and communication. It explores how breath serves not only as life-force energy, but a fundamental tool to help us live more authentically and create the relationships we desire.

This topic blends scientific evidence (which is confined by what is physical and measurable) that is emerging from the fields of trauma processing, embodiment and the nervous system, with traditional Eastern practices which leverage thousands of years of experience in promoting whole-person health and wellbeing. This essay also honours the importance (and in my perspective equally valid), lived experiences of hundreds of thousands of humans exploring breathwork as a potent healing modality.

What is breathwork?

Breathwork involves the use of intentional, conscious control of breathing patterns. There is a wide variety of techniques rooted in different functions. To name a popular few, Wim Hof method builds energy and resilience, Holotropic Breathwork induces different states of consciousness, and Box Breathing encourages calm and focus.

Rebirthing breathwork is unique in that it is intuitive, gentle, highly individualised and requires longer sessions to allow for emotional processing. It uses circular, rhythmic breathing, to activate the parasympathetic part of our nervous system which encourages a sense of safety, relaxation and optimal state for healing to take place.

Rebirthing Breathwork is a structured process that extends beyond simple breathing techniques. It is client-directed and begins with spiritual psychology to address participants' needs and motivations. Practitioners are expected to hold a sensory-supportive environment, ask insightful questions, and offer deep listening to support psychological safety. The approach may explore different psychological areas, such as limiting beliefs, personal challenges, emotional blocks, inner child dynamics, and family systems. As participants gain clarity regarding their intentions, they may first engage in a meditation or somatic exploration to tap into the breath and body. This will then lead into the rebirthing breathwork practice. The breathe itself may last 45-60 minutes or longer, depending on when the full breath cycle is completed. Throughout the process, participants may notice subtle shifts or discomfort, access subconscious material, release stored emotional tension and enhance breathing patterns and physiological health.

Next we will explore the ways Rebirthing Breathwork is a threshold between mind and body, thinking and feeling. Between simply speaking, and speaking our truth. Between the relationships we have and the relationships we desire and deserve.

Safety, Trauma and the Nervous System

Rebirthing breathwork and other breathing methods use slow, circular, diaphragmatic breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (known as rest and digest). This approach stimulates an important nerve known as the “Vagus Nerve.” This helps lower heart rate and shift the body away from stress into a state of calm and safety, building “Vagal tone” (Improved stress recovery and lower blood pressure) in the process.

The ventral branch of the Vagus Nerve travels from our heart to our face. Known as the “social engagement system,” it influences how we receive, express and engage with others. This branch is also understood as the “vagal brake” connecting the brainstem and heart pacemaker, which influences how we recover from stress and challenging life experiences. While debate continues regarding Porges' Polyvagal Theory, people still appear to agree that feeling a sense of safety is strongly linked to positive social outcomes.

Other breath-based modalities that also support vagal tone include Eastern practices rooted in yoga, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), and Tibetan traditions.

Increasingly, research links these practices to improved heart rate variability (HRV) and reductions in markers of inflammation. Rituals such as humming, singing, and chanting may also stimulate nerve pathways in the throat, supporting a felt sense of internal balance and regulation. Ultimately, spending more time in this regulated state can expand our capacity to move toward social connection.

Oxytocin (known as the love or bonding hormone) is released when we feel safe and connected. It works with our Vagus nerve to facilitate a sense of attachment and regulation. Perceived threat diminishes and sense of trust and interpretation of social cues is improved, revealing how the state of our nervous system influences our capacity for connection.

Dr Stuart Shankar defines regulation as “the ability to manage stress and the neural processes that control the energy expended to deal with a stressor and then recover. When we are in a regulated state, this is recognised as our "optimal level of arousal." This state allows us to learn, take in new information, have harmonious relationships and function optimally in daily life. It is how we deal with stressors and as such, lays the foundation for all other activity.”

The health of our nervous system and our social relationships are intrinsically entwined like tide and ocean. The rhythm of the tide effects the wider ecosystems of sea, land and marine life. Regulation is the foundational rhythm we seek that allows for processing, integration, recovery, and deeper connections.

As humans, we are naturally driven toward connection and community. We crave closeness with others, even when intimacy feels terrifying. By understanding the delicate function of the nervous system, we can begin to comprehend the value of diaphragmatic breathing in creating a felt sense of safety—so we can move toward the relationships we desire and traverse the depths of our own ecosystem.

Sensory & Somatics

Somatic practices focus on strengthening the mind-body relationship through methods that enhance sensitivity to internal physical sensations. Rebirthing breathwork connects the breath to the sensations taking place within the body during a breathe. In this way, it is considered a somatic practice as it works directly with the body to process stored tension, emotions and trauma.

Breathing, unlike other essential bodily functions, is governed by two distinct, interrelated neural pathways. It can occur both consciously and unconsciously, reflecting its exceptional nature. By intentionally focusing on the breath, individuals may enhance bodily awareness and regain a sense of connection with their physical selves.

Our nervous systems have a dynamic, unique blueprint that is formed by our relational history. This for example, determines our responses (or reactions) to safety, danger and intimacy. This may interestingly create feelings of calm within a chaotic relationship, or nervousness within a stable one. Our body seeks what is familiar, even without our knowing.

Relational patterns are recurring behaviours and responses in relationships, shaped by attachment styles, early life and traumatic experiences, forming a guide for human connection, communication, and conflict resolution. Relational patterns are also stored within the body, embedded in the nervous system, muscles and in regular bodily responses.

“Right relationship” describes a supportive connection we have with ourselves, others or our environment that feels safe, consistent and nourishing. There is a sense of acceptance, trust and mutual respect.

Breathwork aids the healing of relational patterns by accessing unconscious memories and emotions stored within the physical body. This practice addresses attachment wounds and supports the review of limiting internalised beliefs formed during early development. We can breathe into unprocessed emotional experiences that manifest within the body as physical tension and pain. On a physiological level, breathwork may contribute to nervous system recalibration and the reduction of chronic pain and tension.

Such effects can improve interpersonal relationships by fostering an environment rooted in safety and connection. Intentionally working with desired relational qualities may create opportunities for positive social outcomes. By systematically re-wiring internalised beliefs and tending to attachment difficulties, we can create new scripts and retrain our bodies to seek relationships that are in greater alignment with our evolving values and beliefs.

Speak your truth

As a speech therapist, I naturally have a passionate interest in the ways breathwork influences how we communicate, use our voice and relate to others. Traditional Speech Therapy degrees taught at universities focus on the mechanics and physiology of the breathing mechanism. Being motivated by a whole-person centred approach, I am curious about how our breath not only influences what we say, but how we feel in our mind, body and spirit. I want to explore the metaphysical implications of what it means to speak our truth and find our voice.

Your voice begins not in your throat, but in your lungs. If we imagine that our breath is a current or tide. When the tide is pulsing, our voice is rhythmic, dynamic and it flows easefully. When the tide is uncoordinated or unpredictable, our voice may sound choppy, muffled, weak or washy. Akin to the ocean, our voice carries deeper, hidden meaning, emotion and information, beyond simply words.

Many of us develop unique breath patterns over the course of our lives that we are not aware of. For example, shallow, fast breathing may reflect anxiety or fear, and a scattered or weakened flow. Involuntary breath-holding may be associated with tension and suppression, and may signal constriction, blocked flow, or trauma-held patterns.

Deep, slow breathing can indicate emotional calm and connection and, through a pranic lens, a sense of balance. Shallow breathing directly influences our speech. When we are disconnected from our breath, the nervous system generally remains in high alert. By engaging in diaphragmatic breathing or as I like to refer to it as our “ocean breath”, we are creating the right conditions in our environment to express more deeply. By breathing better and more naturally, we return to our authentic voice. Bringing courage, confidence and conviction to speak our truth.

According to speech therapist Jesse Nerenberg (Nerenberg, 2025) “Breath is more than a background process, it is a bridge between voice and body, between mind and nervous system. It connects the way we sound with the way we feel. By bringing attention to the breath, we gain more than just better vocal control. We gain access to calm, presence, and a stronger sense of agency in communication.”

Communication includes a myriad of non-spoken means such as facial expressions, body language, touch and closeness during moments of intimacy. All of which have the potential to be influenced by breathwork and the relationship it has to the wider ecosystem. Clear communication enables us to articulate our needs, desires, and ideas from a foundation of security, fostering more profound and meaningful relationships. With enhanced confidence and a sense of safety, individuals are more willing to express themselves openly, address challenging topics, and advocate for their interests. There is potential to transform our voice in the deepest sense of the word, and in this process create more fulfilling connections and relationships.

Summary

In the Western world, we are only just beginning to remember and understand the importance of our one and only breath. The invisible force that connects us to our surrounds. The thing that not only keeps us alive, moving and vital, but offers a gateway into the deeper realms of our subconscious, our capacity and our connections.

My own personal experiences have always led me back to my breath. For as long as I can remember I shallowed breathed – potentially an adaptation from a stressful home environment. I carried a lot of shame and insecurity in my breath. I kept others at a distance, because true, raw intimacy required a level of surrender and acceptance I was not willing or ready to possess. Along with limiting beliefs that I was inherently flawed and unlovable, my breath became a barometer of my depth. And I was wading near the shoreline. I fainted easily. I was extremely disconnected from my body. I was an athlete from a young age. I drove my body into the ground. And my breath couldn’t keep up. I operated from a place of fear. Of detachment. Of inadequacy.

My breath held my greatest source of pain, until I realised it could become my greatest resource. An ally for pleasure and possibility. A relationship that continues to ebb and flow on my life’s journey. I didn’t realise I held my own essence or truth. But I always felt like I was chasing a deeper understanding of who I was. Breath became a portal for this.

It’s wild when you realise breath is the one thing we always have access to at any moment.

Rebirthing breathwork has offered me access to deep states of rest and remembering. I continue to unfurl the depth of my relationships, with myself, others and life. Breath has demanded my commitment and asked me to show up time and time again. Breath is my first relationship. And my longest. Breath is a portal that connects us to our own story, memory and unexpressed feelings. It’s a relationship we can tend to and foster through Breathwork, and the ripple effects can be revolutionary.

References:

Campanelli, S., Tort, A. B. L., & Lobão-Soares, B. (2020). Pranayamas and their

neurophysiological effects. International Journal of Yoga, 13(3), 183–192.

https://doi.org/10.4103/ijoy.IJOY_91_19

Gerritsen, R. J. S., & Band, G. P. H. (2018). Breath of life: The respiratory vagal

stimulation model of contemplative activity. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience,

12, Article 397. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2018.00397

Nerenberg, J. (2025, June 25). Breath: Its connection to the voice & easing

anxiety. Well Said: Toronto Speech Therapy.

https://www.torontospeechtherapy.com/blog/2025/breah-its-connection-to-

the-voice-and-easing-anxiety/

Porges, S. W. (2025). Polyvagal theory: Current status, clinical applications, and